john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
