Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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