i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
