its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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