My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
