1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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