hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
