We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
