idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
