I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
only you would photoshop your dick
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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