i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
