vagina is talking i cant
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
