im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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