we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
