I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize