What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
