I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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