I just saw a hot homeless man
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
