idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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