what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
