I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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