Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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