i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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