I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
