Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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