Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize