if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She announced her abortion via fbk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
