My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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