3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
