i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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