Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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