Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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