they need to just BURY HIM!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you didnt know i had herpes?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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