ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Someone came in the potted fern
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
