hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
