STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize