So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
