Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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