Say something about gay babies.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
