so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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