yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
