I think im going to throw up on grandma
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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