plz talk dirty to me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
