Where is the hickey?
oh god the rape fog is back!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize