did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
