We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
