The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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