I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
