So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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