When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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