I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.