She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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