forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize