can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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