people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
