i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
