D3 body, D1 cock
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
