Tell her she can't have a vagina
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just found puke in my bra..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
