Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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