dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
