I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
