The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize