How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
